It is a Document of Our Travels.

07 March 2009

Reasons to Never Visit Cairo

1. Every driver has a cache of friends who will descend upon you whenever the car stops. They will always know you are coming, and it is impossible to avoid them. Your driver is always out for commission.

2. Anything that anyone can offer you, even within the ‘sanctuary’ of a paid-for museum, requires baksheesh. They always ask with a smile. This includes single leaves of toilet paper when you visit the bathroom.

3. Everyone wants ‘tips’, even children. Additionally, whenever someone says ‘just look around’, it means they will follow and harass you until you make a purchase. Always smiling.

4. If someone asks where you are from, they want your money.

5. If someone asks your name, they want your money.

6. Pyramids are really only breathtaking the first time you see them and in photos. If you look too close, all you see is litter and terrible restoration work. There is little respect given to the actual monuments that support the insanely disturbing tourist industry.

7. It’s always disconcerting when a police officer propositions you for bribe money while he’s holding an AK-47.

8. Engage with one tout, even for a simple bottle of water, and they all want a piece. Apparently ‘no problem, no money’ means they want everything in your wallet. This is particularly true for children. Swearing at children becomes second nature.

9. Every friendly smile is simply a means for getting you to open your wallet.

10. There is no such thing as a helpful stranger. He will always ask for baksheesh(tip) or forcefully invite you to his shop under the pretence of ‘Egyptian Hospitality’. There is always a sale to be forced.

11. Old men with limps are not to be trusted.

12. A white women can never escape the male gaze, no matter how much she covers up.

13. Robyn is worth a million camels. He has yet to pay.

14. A 13egp ($3) dinner-for-2 is never as good as it sounds.

15. ‘Welcome to Egypt’ is the only thanks for payment. It is a depressing reminder of how much you just got ripped off.

We were ‘coerced’ into spending more today than our whole time in London. It feels dirty.

06 March 2009

Cairo

This has to be the most intensely crazy city in the world. You can’t walk 5 meters without someone offering you a taxi, directions to shops and streets, or polishing of your canvas shoes. Thankfully most people are fairly jovial once you decline their offers, but it can be disconcerting when the ‘police’ ask for bribe money. This happened in the Egyptian museum where a seemingly friendly guard suggested I take a photo, and then demanded 50 Egyptian pounds as payment (as there were no cameras allowed in the museum). He got 2.

There are also 2 options when crossing the busy streets. You either pay a ‘police’ officer to stop traffic for you, or you just run out and hope for the best. We’ve been doing as the Egyptians do, and now it seems strangely normal to jump out into oncoming traffic blaring their horns at you.

As for horns, not a second goes by in this city where you can’t here one. Especially from taxis zooming past wanting your custom.

Thankfully our hotel seems to be one of the better cheap options in Cairo, and is serving as a welcome sanctuary. We have had to get used to showering in the toilet, however.